MARIA’S DORM at the University of Pennsylvania. MARIA is packing a garment bag as Bailey sits on her bed, watching.
BAILEY: C’mon, Maria. It’s only a week. Besides, the holidays are supposed to be fun.
MARIA: Yeah, well…you don’t know my family.
BAILEY: They can’t be that bad.
MARIA: Is that so? Let me give you a little glimpse of what I’m in store for. My Aunt Millie will insist that she couldn’t find anyone to watch her dogs, so my Mom’s place will smell of them all week. My Grandma will tell me no less that fifty times that I’m the “spitting image of her at my age” and I’ll spend the rest of the week looking at her thinking, “God, please don’t let me look like her at her age.” (Bailey smiles.) I’ll probably end up at the table next to my Uncle “flat-u-Lance”, and oh…this is the worst: my Dad will wait until everyone’s in earshot, then tell me I’d better make sure whoever I’m seeing is wearing protection because he doesn’t want any grandkids until I’m married.
BAILEY: (Laughing in spite of himself) You’re kidding.
MARIA: The last one’s verbatim. (Maria zips up her bag and sits next to Bailey.)
BAILEY: Sounds rough. Okay, so maybe this will be a pretty long week for you. (Maria looks down, thinking.)
MARIA: Hmm…
BAILEY: What?
MARIA: A week. (Looking up) That’s…that’s a long time, don’t you think? (Bailey has a confused look.)
BAILEY: A week?
MARIA: I mean, if you knew you wouldn’t be eating for a week, wouldn’t you want to…you know…indulge?
BAILEY: Maria, what are you—? (With sudden comprehension) You know, you’re right. (Maria nods.) I mean, a week is like…seven days. And…and seven days is like, how many hou—? (Maria leans in and kisses Bailey, and they fall backward onto the bed.)
PO5 Credits
CHARLIE’S HOUSE. CHARLIE and KIRSTEN are in their bedroom, talking. The lights are low. Charlie’s eyes are red. Kirsten’s face is drawn, and her lips are tight.
KIRSTEN: I just…can’t figure things out in this house, Charlie. I have to leave.
CHARLIE: Kirsten--
KIRSTEN: Wanda offered her place for a couple of weeks. Angelo’s got some International flights and she’ll be at her mother’s, so… (Sighs) It’s not perfect, but until I find something else—
CHARLIE: I can’t let you go, Kirsten.
KIRSTEN: Charlie, we’ve been over this…
CHARLIE: (Putting his hands up) Wait, hear me out. I know how you feel, and I know you want to leave. But I can’t let you do that. (He pauses for a moment, and looks down.) I’ll go. You should stay here with Stewie.
KIRSTEN: Charlie—
CHARLIE: It’s better this way, Kirsten. No disruptions. (Kirsten takes this in.) I’ll figure out what to do about Owen. Maybe Julia can help me out.
KIRSTEN: Owen can stay here with me…it wouldn’t be right to uproot him in the middle of all this.
CHARLIE: I don’t know…that doesn’t seem fair to you.
KIRSTEN: (Suddenly tearful) You know how much I care about these kids, Charlie. I don’t want this to be any worse than it has to. (She looks up toward the ceiling and wipes her eyes as the silence hangs thickly over them.)
CHARLIE: Look, I don’t think we should say anything to anyone about this right away. You know, Thanksgiving… (Kirsten nods.) There’s no sense in ruining everyone else’s holiday.
GRIFFIN’S APARTMENT. JULIA is standing in the hallway, her purse over one shoulder. She knocks on the door and waits. After a moment, MICHELLE opens the door.
JULIA: (Smiling) Hi.
MICHELLE: Hey.
JULIA: Listen, um… (motioning) I was just on my way to Rosalie House, the women’s shelter on 18th Street, to drop off some canned goods. I…thought you might want to take a drive and come with me.
MICHELLE: I would, but…I can’t. I’m leaving for Chicago in a few hours, and I have to finish packing and all.
JULIA: (Surprised) Oh. I didn’t know you were going. Well, what time do you need to be there? I can take you.
MICHELLE: That’s okay. I have a ride. Everything’s all set.
JULIA: Okay…well, have a safe trip, then. And a Happy Thanksgiving.
MICHELLE: Yeah, you too. (She closes the door and Julia walks down the hall.)
SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT. BAILEY and CHARLIE are standing at the baggage carousel, waiting for Bailey’s luggage. The carousel is turning, and Charlie scans the bags as they pass by.
BAILEY: (Looking at Charlie) Wait, are you sure it’s… it’s that Kathleen Isley?
CHARLIE: You’ve seen her, Bay. She’s kinda hard to mistake for your average woman.
BAILEY: (Recalling her image) Okay, I’ll give you that one, but…are you sure she’s on the level? I mean, how do you know she’s not just trying to screw you over again?
CHARLIE: Don’t worry about it, alright? I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not like that. It’s… different.
BAILEY: How do you know? I mean, just look what she did to Salinger’s. Can you guarantee she won’t try to do the same thing with the factory?
CHARLIE: I can usually tell when a woman has vengeance on her mind, Bay.
BAILEY: Yeah, since your keen sense picked up on it the first time so well.
CHARLIE: Look, it’s just… I can’t explain it. I don’t get that vibe from her.
BAILEY: Really. So…what kind of vibe are you getting?
CHARLIE: (Smirking) Not that kind, either. (Bailey smiles, then grabs one of his bags off the carousel.) She’s changed, okay? It happens—I can’t explain it any better than that. But to be honest, her timing couldn’t be better.
BAILEY: Meaning…?
CHARLIE: Well, now that the factory’s back on its feet, I’ve got some options with Salingers’. I’m gonna try hiring new management, but if it doesn’t work out…
(He pauses.)
BAILEY: Then what?
CHARLIE: Then I’ll have no choice. I’ll have to sell. (Bailey thinks about this as Charlie grabs Bailey’s other bag.)
TODD’S HOUSE. TODD and CLAUDIA are sitting on the floor in his room, sifting through CD’s. There is a portable CD player in front of them playing Bach’s “Air on the G String.”
CLAUDIA: (Picking up a CD) What about “Jesu: Joy of Man’s Desiring?”
TODD: I don’t know…
CLAUDIA: Why not?
TODD: (Sitting up) Didn’t you tell me you played that at Julia and Griffin’s wedding party?
CLAUDIA: Oh, you’re right…and look how that turned out. God, this is impossible!
TODD: Claudia, why are you sweating this? You’ll be great…no matter what you choose to play.
CLAUDIA: Thanks, but…you’re my boyfriend, Todd. Don’t you kind of have to say that?
TODD: Well, it’s not in the contract or anything...but I mean it. (Claudia gives a half-smile.) Look, here’s what I think. All we need to do is find some pieces that – you know - say something. It’ll have to be something you’re comfortable with…but at the same time, it should be something that challenges you to step up a level. Something impressive, but in an underlying sense, you know? (Claudia looks confused.) What I mean is, you don’t want to just be playing a flurry of notes to show everyone you can do it. It’s got to have more feeling behind it…an intense feeling that the audience will pick up on and make them think, “Wow. I’ve never heard it quite like that.”
CLAUDIA: God, Todd. When you put it like that, it sounds so…so…
TODD: Impossible?
CLAUDIA: Thank you.
CHARLIE’S BASEMENT. JULIA is rummaging through some boxes on shelves. She's being methodical, examining the contents of each box carefully. A closer look reveals she's not examining them; she's reliving them, reminiscing the memories each holds. KIRSTEN is unloading some clothes from the dryer, and notices her gazing into a box.
KIRSTEN: What, is there a TV in there, Jul?
JULIA: Huh? (Looking up) No, I just never realized how much of a pack-rat Charlie is. (She takes an item out of the box and holds it up.) Look, here’s his eighth-grade report card.
KIRSTEN: Huh.
JULIA: There’s nothing above a C-plus, but he still saved it.
KIRSTEN: Maybe that was one of his better ones… (Julia replaces the report card and moves to the next box.)
JULIA: Which means there’s a good chance that… (She lifts out a sheaf of papers.) Yes! I knew he wouldn’t throw them out.
KIRSTEN: What’s that, his doctoral dissertation? (Julia shoots her a look.) Sorry.
JULIA: My stories. The short stories I wrote…God, like, ages ago. I practically forgot about them, but… (flipping through the pages) …I think there’s some really good stuff in here.
KIRSTEN: So that’s what you were looking for?
JULIA: (Looking around the room) Yeah, but seeing all this stuff, all our stuff, here… I dunno. It’s all together, all mixed in, but us—we barely get to see each other any more. Sure, there’s the holidays, like now, but the day-to-day stuff…it’s all packed away in these boxes. (She takes a moment.) I guess I envy you a little bit, Kirsten. You know, being around Charlie and Owen and Stewie every day. (She pauses, thinking about it.) Must be really nice. (She smiles as Kirsten looks down.)
CHARLIE’S KITCHEN. BAILEY is making a pot of coffee. CLAUDIA and CHARLIE’s voices drift in from the next room, getting louder as they approach the kitchen.
CLAUDIA: …but now they only let you take, like, one teeny carry-on, so I had to spend all this time in baggage claim. (They enter the kitchen, heading toward the backyard.)
CHARLIE: You got here, right? No worse for the wear.
CLAUDIA: I suppose. But I could’ve gotten in hours earlier. Sarah was on that flight, and well, it wasn’t a red-eye, but it was so much more convenient. (Bailey begins listening more intently.) I guess that’s why it was full. I tried to get on it, but this lady at the ticket counter—
BAILEY: Wait, Claud. Are you… Sarah’s here?
CLAUDIA: Where else would she be on Thanksgiving? (Charlie and Claudia continue into the backyard as Bailey stands still, thinking.)
CHARLIE’S SPARE BEDROOM. JULIA is sitting on the bed with a sea of papers laid out before her. She’s holding some, reading them over—but it’s more like scanning than reading. GRIFFIN is sitting in a chair, watching her.
JULIA: I thought these were… I mean, I remember all the ideas, but when I wrote them I thought they were…better.
GRIFFIN: I’m sure they’re great, Jul.
JULIA: How can you say that? You’ve never even read any of my stuff.
GRIFFIN: C’mon, you sent me all those letters. I know how you write.
JULIA: It’s not the same thing, Griffin. It’s not like I can publish those, but this…I thought it had a shot.
GRIFFIN: Yeah, but you’re writing all the time. Just take that stuff and work it over. Or write something new. Why not just…whatever you do, picture it like you’re writing it for me. ‘Cause I loved those words in your letters. They…stuck with me, you know? Just write like that, and you can publish anything.
CHARLIE’S HOUSE. CLAUDIA is walking down the hallway when TODD appears from the shadows and pulls her around the corner.
Claudia lets out a squeal and giggles. Todd brings her close and kisses her.
TODD: Finally…I just had to get you all to myself for a minute. (He leans in and kisses her neck.) Mmm…you smell so good. Like…apples.
CLAUDIA: (Giggling, then in a loud whisper) Todd, someone will see us.
TODD: (Smiling) So? Let the world see. Let everyone see how crazy I am about you. (They kiss again, longer this time. Claudia looks around the room nervously.)
CLAUDIA: Wait, I have an idea. Come on. (She takes his hand and leads him toward the basement door. Todd puts his arms around her waist and follows. Just as Claudia is about to open the door, it opens from the inside, and Julia and Griffin emerge. Griffin’s hair is tousled, and Julia looks slightly flushed.) JULIA: Hi…um…we were just…checking on the wine.
GRIFFIN: Yeah…it’s, uh…it’s there all right. (Julia and Griffin continue on, and Claudia and Todd exchange confused looks.)
CHARLIE’S DINING ROOM. The whole family is setting the table, bringing out all the dinnerware, food, and decorations. CLAUDIA stumbles on the rug, almost dropping the pie she’s carrying.
JULIA: Careful there, Claud. Thurber’s not around anymore.
BAILEY: Hey, that’s right. The pie incident. I forgot about that.
CLAUDIA: Look, I was eight, alright. And the dish was heavy.
CHARLIE: Yeah, but you gave Thurber his own little Thanksgiving. He ate like a king. It was peach cobbler, right?
BAILEY: Mom’s best. It was also the only one she knew how to make, so…
CLAUDIA: It wasn’t that bad. Really. And it wasn’t the worst. Remember the story about Charlie and Dad’s chair?
CHARLIE: That wasn’t my fault!
CLAUDIA: I said that about the pie.
JULIA: That was right after dad gave you your first set of tools. I was real young, but that’s one of the first memories I have: Dad sitting at the dining room table, wobbling in his chair all through dinner.
BAILEY: That’s right! (Laughing) He was about to topple over at one point and grabbed me for support. Like I would be an anchor at eighty pounds. Pulled me right out of my seat!
CHARLIE: Hey, those chair legs were my first design.
JULIA: I’m sure you could have sold them to some cows. (The others look confused by this.) They could sit up straight on a slanted hill. (No one laughs.) Sorry…
CHARLIE: You’re one to talk, with your “Christmas Poem.”
JULIA: I was nine! BAILEY: “We have the tree/Santa comes to see/Leaves us gifts/ To open on Christmus.”
CHARLIE: (Choking back the giggles) A classic! (They all struggle to keep from out-right laughing)
CLAUDIA: I copied it and turned it in as my elementary school English assignment in fifth grade! (That breaks the dam, and the laughter flows freely.)
CHARLIE’S DINING ROOM, later. The horn-o-plenty that was Charlie’s dinner table has given way to a half-eaten turkey, empty bowls, and remnants of food on plates.
DIANA: (Giggling and pointing) Mommy burped!
DAPHNE: (Smiling) What? That was not a burp.
JULIA: Don’t be embarrassed, Daph. We’re all family.
DAPHNE: Julia!
OWEN: And that was a good one!
BAILEY: Yeah, you’ll have bragging rights for years. (Everyone laughs.)
DAPHNE: It wasn’t a burp, okay? I was just…
LUKE: Being the dummy for a frog ventriloquist? (More laughter.)
BAILEY: Okay, I’ll let you off the hook, Daph. (He undoes his belt, loosening it to the next notch. To Charlie) You happy? (Charlie nods, smiling.)
CLAUDIA: (To Luke) They do this every year. First one to loosen the belt loses. Kind of a tradition.
BAILEY: Speaking of which… Isn’t it about time for the annual Charlie toast?
CHARLIE: (Slightly embarrassed) Oh, I, um…I kind of forgot about that. (He looks at Kirsten, who looks down.)
BAILEY: So. It’s just us. Come on…off the top of your head.
CHARLIE: (Shaking his head) I…I don’t know. It’s kind of an old tradition anyway, right?
CLAUDIA: Isn’t that the point of a tradition? Being old?
CHARLIE: (To Bailey) Why don’t you take it this year?
BAILEY: Me?
CHARLIE: Or Julia or Claud. Whoever.
BAILEY: C’mon, Char. You’re better at this than me.
CLAUDIA: Me, too. (Everyone looks surprised to see Griffin stand up, holding a glass.)
GRIFFIN: Look, I’m…not really good at this kind of thing, but…I don’t know. Just seeing everyone here, in one place, at this table…it’s probably hard for you guys to understand, because you’ve had it for…well, forever. But to someone who doesn’t exactly have the strongest family background, it’s a pretty amazing thing to see. (Daphne smiles.) I met you guys…after I lost a sister. (Looking at Claudia) Then I got another one. (Claudia smiles.) Some brothers, too. (Bailey, Charlie and Owen look at each other, smiling.) I guess through all this rambling, what I’m trying to say is…thank you. I’m not really sure why, but for some reason you guys have accepted me into your family. And I don’t need to tell you…it’s a pretty special place to be. (Everyone says, “Here, here,” raising their glasses. Kirsten is the last to join in. Everyone takes a small sip, and Griffin continues.) Oh, and, um…I think it’s about time you guys knew something. (Looking at Julia) Me and Jul…we’re sort of…me and Jul again. (Julia smiles through her surprised expression.)
CLAUDIA: (Smiling) The…two of you…?
BAILEY: (Smiling) Since when?
OWEN: Cool!
CLAUDIA: (To Julia) Why didn’t you tell me?
JULIA: I was going to...soon.
BAILEY: That’s great you guys. Wow. (Claudia gets up and hugs Julia, who smiles at Charlie. Charlie manages a small smile back as the table buzzes with conversation.)
CHARLIE’S HOUSE. DAPHNE takes some dishes into the kitchen, putting them in the sink as GRIFFIN enters behind her. She begins running water over the dishes to rinse them off.
GRIFFIN: Need any help with that?
DAPHNE: (Peers over her shoulder) No thanks. (She smiles and turns back around.)
GRIFFIN: Oh. (He leans against the counter.) Wow… a lot has happened since the last time we were alone in Charlie’s kitchen I mean, just think about how much our lives have changed in one year. It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?
DAPHNE: Sure is.
GRIFFIN: Well, uh…listen I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you…you know, not fighting me anymore…with Matthew. I mean, I know you wish things were different, but…he’s the greatest thing to ever happen to me. And…since it’s Thanksgiving and all…I just wanted to tell you that. (Daphne smiles.)
CHARLIE’S HOUSE. JULIA and GRIFFIN are sitting on the swing in the backyard, holding hands.
JULIA: (Grinning) It sure feels good to be able to do this out in the open. (She snuggles up to Griffin and wraps her other arm around him.)
GRIFFIN: Yeah…and this, too. (He leans over and kisses her.)
JULIA: I can’t believe we told them. Everyone must think we’re crazy.
GRIFFIN: Naw…well, maybe a little. I guess our track record’s not too good, huh?
JULIA: Nope.
GRIFFIN: Maybe it’ll be different this time. At least, I hope it is.
JULIA: God, definitely. Me, too.
GRIFFIN: So…what do we do now?
JULIA: Oh, I can think of a lot of things we can do now… (She leans in and nibbles on his neck.)
GRIFFIN: (Laughing) On a full stomach? Come on, Jul. Anyway, that’s not what I meant.
JULIA: It wasn’t? Darn.
GRIFFIN: Seriously. I meant what do we do…about us. You know…like where is our relationship going?
JULIA: (Taking a deep breath and looking straight at him) Well…I’ve been thinking about that, actually. And it’s like, we’ve tried being married, and that didn’t work. And we tried not being married, and that didn’t work either. So, maybe…maybe we don’t try being anything. I mean, I want to be with you, Griffin, more than anything but…maybe we shouldn’t make promises we don’t know if we can keep. Maybe…we should just enjoy what we have for as long as it lasts.
GRIFFIN: (After a moment) And you’re okay with that?
JULIA: (Smiling) I’m totally okay with that. We can’t predict what’s going to happen in the future, so why not just take things day by day, and enjoy just being together. That’s what really matters anyway, right? (Griffin nods and smiles, and they kiss again as the scene fades.)
DINING ROOM. Amidst the conversations in the room, KIRSTEN gets up to take some dishes to the kitchen. She stops suddenly when she sees CHARLIE walking toward her. Kirsten and Charlie walk by without looking at each other or saying a word. LUKE notices this but says nothing.
CHARLIE’S TRUCK is parked on a sloped street in a residential area. The morning air blows crisply through the many trees that line the street. BAILEY looks at one of the houses, exhales, and gets out of the truck. As he approaches the porch of the house, he slows his pace and a look of indecision sweeps over his face. He breathes in deeply as he pushes the doorbell. After an anxious moment, the door opens and Bailey sees Sarah’s step-mother, who looks surprised to say the least.
BAILEY: (Smiling nervously) Mrs. Reeves…hi. (She doesn’t respond.) Is, um…is Sarah home?
MRS. REEVES: I-I don’t know. I’ll have to ask her. (Bailey furrows his brows as he’s left standing at the porch.)
THE KITCHEN AT CHARLIE'S HOUSE. CLAUDIA is taking dishes out of the dishwasher and putting them away as KIRSTEN looks into the refrigerator.
KIRSTEN: This thing is stuffed. It’ll take us forever to get through all these leftovers.
CLAUDIA: Too bad you can’t Fed Ex some to me. It’s not like the Juilliard meal plan is anything to brag about. (Kirsten closes the refrigerator.) Oh, before I forget. Any chance you and Charlie can make it out to Denver next month?
KIRSTEN: Denver?
CLAUDIA: That’s where my competition finals are…not that there’s any guarantee I’ll make it that far. Anyway, Bailey said he’d be there as long as his finals didn’t conflict and Julia said she doesn’t see any problems. (Smiling) So if you guys can make it, we’ll all be there.
KIRSTEN: I’ll have to talk to Charlie. You know…see where things are.
SARAH’S ROOM. SARAH is seated in a chair in the corner of her room. BAILEY stands in the opposite corner, looking around the room he knows so well.
SARAH: You’ll have to forgive my mother. I mean, it’s been so long, I’m sure she’s just – y’know - wondering what you’re doing here. (Bailey points to a ceramic mask on her wall.)
BAILEY: Didn’t I give this to you?
SARAH: Uh-huh.
BAILEY: And you kept it all this time. That’s…that’s nice. (Sarah flashes a perfunctory smile.) I’m sorry…you were saying?
SARAH: Huh? Oh, nothing. Just that – y’know - my mother’s probably wondering— Bailey, why are you here? (Bailey is silent.) I mean, don’t get me wrong…but that last couple times we’ve seen each other, you treated me like I’m this…this terrible person.
BAILEY: I know.
SARAH: And I’m not, Bailey.
BAILEY: Sarah, I know. I know that…better than anyone. (Sighs) Look, I’m not proud of the way I’ve been acting. I admit that. And I know you can’t see things from my side, but— (Sarah stands up, crossing her arms.)
SARAH: Ugh, I knew it.
BAILEY: What?
SARAH: You haven’t changed, Bailey. Why can’t you ever apologize for something without…without quantifying it?
BAILEY: This isn’t an apology.
SARAH: Why can’t you just— it’s not?
BAILEY: (Shaking his head) No…it’s not. The way I see it, I kind of don’t owe you an apology. (Sarah looks to the side, shaking her head.) Only now I realize…maybe you don’t owe me one either. (Sarah stands still, silencing any chords this may have struck. Bailey walks in front of her.) Sarah, there’s no point in me trying to explain why I was so upset. (Shaking his head) That’s something that – no matter how hard I try, or how many different ways I try to explain it – you’ll never truly be able to see my way. And that’s okay. I mean, that’s just the way it is. (Bailey looks down.) So, using that logic, I figured…you’ve got your reasons too. (He looks up.) And maybe I just don’t understand them.
SARAH: Bailey…
BAILEY: Sarah, it’s okay. You don’t need to explain—
SARAH: I wasn’t.
BAILEY: Oh.
SARAH: I was gonna say…it’s good to see you again.
“Thank You” by Dido plays in the background as TODD puts Claudia’s bags in the back of his mother’s car. CLAUDIA hugs Charlie and KIRSTEN goodbye, then kisses DIANA and STEWIE before getting into Todd’s mother’s car. The car pulls out and Claudia waves goodbye as the scene changes to show JULIA staring at a blank screen on her laptop. “Thank You” continues playing as GRIFFIN comes up behind her and hugs her. She smiles, then turns her head to kiss Griffin as the scene changes to show BAILEY boarding an airplane. He takes his seat and looks out of the window, toward the terminal as the scene changes to show KIRSTEN in Stewie’s nursery room. Weeping silently, she’s cradling STEWIE while rocking back and forth in the rocking chair. OWEN sees this from around the corner of the entrance.
AN APARTMENT BUILDING in San Francisco. A man is giving CHARLIE a walking tour, showing him the living room. He flips a switch on a small, portable radio and “Thank You” stops playing.
MAN: At first I was trying to do a swap, you know? My apartment for one in Boston. But it was too much of a hassle trying to find someone who needed a place here for the same amount of time.
CHARLIE: Yeah.
MAN: It’s a nice area…neighbors are quiet. All I ask is that you feed my cat.
CHARLIE: Well, it looks fine.
MAN: Good. This case I’m working on should only last a couple of months. You sure you won’t need it any longer than that? (Charlie hesitates.)
CHARLIE: I hope not. (Charlie looks around the room as the scene fades.)
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